Feeling overwhelmed? Of course you are! Stress management for busy parents is next level in our busy modern lives. Parenting today is a challenge for parents that are:

• Busy and short of time
• Juggling school, work, holidays and extracurriculars
• Worrying excessively about their kids

We are parenting in a constantly changing world. The Pandemic, weather events and the high cost of living are just recent examples of disrupting stressors for families. Disruption disconnects. However, stress management for busy parents gives an opportunity to learn ways that will work for our family. It provides an opportunity to reconnect. We can begin to balance this equation by increasing connection and building rapport even when we’re busy, juggling agendas and feeling worried. It may sound even more overwhelming, but the truth is, making time for family connection is a necessity not a nice to have.

We can build and strengthen connection with our children by implementing a regular school routine, having regular meals and getting up going to bed at the same time. These basic rhythms build familiarity and a sense of belonging.

Busting stress when we’re time poor!

Parenting is a giant experiment in raising our awareness of ourselves and of others. Stress management for busy parents can be difficult to do in our busy modern lifestyle.

It sounds counterintuitive, but if we want to go faster we need to slow down. We need to focus on the tiny human exchanges that really matter. These can get lost in busyness, unless we know where to look for them.

When we slow down in the moment and reflect on what is happening we are consciously observing. Consciously observing when our child throws something across the room or struggles in another way is powerful. This is because we are gaining information which gives us clues about our children’s needs. Do they have trouble regulating emotion? https://gtgparenting.co.nz/2023/01/big-tantrums-and-little-kids/

Will emotional literacy help manage stress?

Is there a need for them to develop more emotional literacy? By raising our awareness, being a conscious observer, helps us to understand ourselves better and gives kids an opportunity to self-evaluate. What are our levels of stress like? Stress management for busy parents means we check in with our own energy account to help keep our energy levels topped up.

As the adult in the room the choices we can make will determine what happens next. Therefore we are the ones who choose what to do in the moment. Besides offering a hug or a glass of water there’s a lot to be said for paying attention to the atmosphere at home. The more we do this, the more we are demonstrating how to regulate our emotions as well as modeling how to do it, even when time is short.

The stronger our connection is with our child, the safer they will feel and the better they will behave. Remember that all of us are more than how we behave. We can stand back a bit as that conscious observer and pay attention. Every interaction gives us an opportunity to learn what we can do to help children. We can focus our time and our energy in this area instead of reacting to events. It’s worth slowing down if you want to go faster.

Stress management for busy parents – juggling all things!

Stress management for busy parents means juggling it all – school, work, holidays and extra-curriculars! There are 168 hours in the week, so this really comes down to time-management. The juggle is real so we need to be clear about what really matters and what is less important to us.

The first thing we need to do is to limit the amount of things that are controlling us in the moment. These are things that make us feel like we are not in charge. We react to them. They take our energy and we can often feel depleted by them. Examples of these things would include suddenly finding we have no petrol in the car or clean PE gear for the children. The solution to this is to establish a set routine so that on a day when we have more time we get the laundry done and the car filled up. Of course we can’t refuse to act on an emergency like an illness in the family. This makes it more important to reduce what is controlling us and our time so we have enough in our own tank to respond to the emergencies we can’t plan for.

Letting stuff go helps busy parents

Next we can simplify the juggle by eliminating low value distractions. These are additional things that aren’t critical like food in the fridge but will nonetheless grab our time unless we set a boundary. Other people’s urgent issues can so easily become our urgent issues. We like to help and we often do more for others than we would do for ourselves. It takes practice to say no to the person who is asking for our help with the school bake sale. No need to be aggressive. Just politely and clearly say “Thanks for asking. I hope you ask me again, but for this week I have to say no.” Switch the phone onto silent for the after school period and pick up calls and messages later in the evening.

The more low value concerns you eliminate, the more time you’ll have for high value activities. Exercise, sleep, planning trips or study are all high value. These are the things we reap rewards from and make us happier, better parents to be around.

Stress ramps up for teens

Part of caring about our kids is worrying about them. It’s perfectly natural – and it may actually help you stay alert to potential issues. But no parent should be living in a constant state of worry. You don’t want to be waking up in the morning thinking – “Will my kid eat dinner tonight?” or “I hope they don’t get kicked out of class today!”

A time when parents start to worry a lot more is during the tween and teen years. Stress management for busy parents can be even harder during this amazing stage and it is worth taking time to do what we can to help bring the stress levels down a notch. Furthermore, we know many are concerned about the risks our teens are facing.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_H_OjtSXRQ&t=1295s

Watch out, worry needn’t be excessive

Worry that becomes excessive is a worry. Sometimes when we are full of worry we can struggle to control our reactions. Many times as parents we think, “I am supposed to stay calm and in charge and kind, but I don’t know how.”

Emotions are contagious so when we are calm children are more likely to learn how to process their own emotions. There are a lot of benefits to being calm when kids are not. It is much easier to be calm, alert and focused when we know what to do. With the right parenting skills in our toolbox and time to practice with them, we are able to meet the need. There is no magic power. Being calm all the time isn’t realistic but it’s a skill we can all learn and get better at.

Stress management is a one step process

Parents juggling school, work, holidays, extracurriculars can simplify one step at a time. Stress management for busy parents means we need to find practical tips to our family.We all need different things to help life run more smoothly. Therefore focus on doing what’s possible in the time we have. High value activities come first. Afterward we’ll end up with more of what we want and more energy to deal with the unexpected. We know that kids don’t need perfect parents, they need good enough ones who are doing the best they can with the skills they have.

If you are interested in adding to the skills in your parenting toolbox, you want to know how to be calm when your child is not or you’re curious about what parent coaching can offer, please reach out to me at Justine@gtgparenting.co.nz