Once I started using positive parenting skills I really noticed a change in my son. His body language changed. He cuddled up to me more on the sofa. I was noticing all these changes when one day he asked “Mummy will you talk to me in that nice parenting voice?”.
This was a wake up call. I didn’t realise that I had been talking to him in a not nice voice.
Although I felt sad about my lack of awareness I was grateful to learn how he felt. It encouraged me to keep on going with the skills I had learned.
One of the ways we did this was to make a “good book”. It was a special notebook. We wrote down the good things both our children had done and why they were good (using descriptive praise). This habit reminded us and them about their progress. It acknowledged the effort they put into doing the right thing. Making a good book is a really powerful thing to do. You can write in it daily or weekly to get in the habit of acknowledging your children. Many families I know have done this and report that it has a really positive effect on their families.
Neither of the children could actually read the comments we wrote so we drew pictures. One of my favourites is the picture of the kind teddy. If you look you can see it in the top right hand side of the picture below. The kindy teacher would give the kind teddy to people who did kind things for others. So my son would also ask if he could have a look at the kind teddy picture.
Our good book is something I still look at now and then. It was meant to be for the children but in a way it has become a treasure for me. It brings back those seemingly small details of family life that you can’t possibly hold in your head and makes you glad to have had that special time together.